kimi ni fureru dakede
by Naz
Summary: Part 2, continuing from "happy valentine's".. Only this time, it's not so fluffy. Title from the title of a song by Curio. R&R please, if you want more chapters.. ;)
1. 1

"Morning, you," Alfeegi said, tugging on Ruwalk's long, two-toned hair. The Yellow Officer looked up, and then smiled. "Hey," he said with a wink. That always got Alfeegi, and today was no exception. He was always so much cuter when he blushed—not like he wasn't already insanely adorable, Ruwalk thought.  
  
Alfeegi put his arms around Ruwalk's broader shoulders. "What's this?" he asked, snatching the paper from Ruwalk's hands. "Ah!" he yelled, shocked. "Give it back!"  
  
"Why?" the White Officer asked, lifting an eyebrow. "Are we being naughty, now.........?" He held up the sheet of paper and looked it over. "Ruwalk, they're just lyrics........."  
  
The other snatched them back. "-Just- lyrics?" he said. "Lykouleon and I played this song all the time when we were younger. We finally found out how to put it to music, and practiced with it........." A faraway look came into those golden eyes. He shook his head as if to clear it, then turned to his lover with a smile. "Sorry," he apologized. "It's just......... yeah."  
  
"That's ok," Alfeegi said, awkwardly petting Ruwalk's head. Ruwalk sweatdropped. "That was random, love."  
  
The aqua haired Officer blushed. "Don't call me 'love!'" he exclaimed.  
  
Ruwalk grinned. "Aw, why?" he asked, wrapping his arms around the other's smaller waist. He rested his head in the crook of Alfeegi's neck, causing the smaller Officer to shiver. "Ruwalk........." he whined.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Cut. It. Out."  
  
"But I love you."  
  
Alfeegi blushed. "I love you too, but it's two in the afternoon."  
  
Ruwalk pulled back, blinking surprisedly. "Alfeegi," he said, shocked. "And you say –I- have a dirty mind?"  
  
-------------------------  
  
"Kaistern, get up."  
  
The blue officer fumbled around for his glasses a bit in the dark. He finally grabbed them and put them on, first squinting at the speaker, then at the clock. "It's two in the morning, Rath. Tomorrow."  
  
"Alfeegi told me get you." The little boy clung onto Kaistern's left arm. "He said it was important."  
  
-Great,- Kaistern thought. –Forms again.- "To yell at me?"  
  
"He mentioned weather."  
  
Kaistern blinked, then turned to face his covered window. Rain poured outside and wind howled. "Ooh," he said, sweatdropping. "Crap." Sighing, he got up. "Fine. Tell him I'm getting dressed."  
  
"Can I help too?!"  
  
"Rath, Lord only knows what Alfeegi wants at two am that's dealing with the weather. Most likely it involves the safety of something, and will thusly be a very hard job." He buttoned up his shirt, then considered which coat would be more weather-resistant. "So in short: Sorry, Kiddo. Nope."  
  
"Awww," the little boy whined, hugging Fire, who was still asleep. "But I wanna help too!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Rath. But it could get rough. Plus, you don't really want to be out there, do you?"  
  
"No fair, Kaistern," Rath went on. "You always let me do anything else!" He pouted.  
  
Kaistern sighed guiltily. Yes, and Alfeegi would love to kill him in his sleep for it. "Yes, but this is one time where I'm afraid I'm going to have to be strict with you. Now go tell Alfeegi I'm getting ready. And," he said, stopping Rath in mid-step, "if you even –try- to go against my word, I'm gonna have to lock you in your room."  
  
Rath stuck out his tongue at the dragon officer before bounding off to do his—only—job.  
  
-----------------------  
  
"Finally, you're here," said a very soaked Alfeegi as Kaistern bounded up. The blue officer sweatdropped. "Holy Hell," he swore. "What happened to you?"  
  
Alfeegi twitched. "LANGUAGE," he said through gritted teeth. "-And,- what –happened- is a flash flood. We're trying to secure the darna's stables, but the town's also been having problems, so we're sending people down there, too." He pulled out a map. He laid it out on a table, and tsked when water dripped onto it. "I need you to go here," he instructed, pointing to a street in the village that was sitting closest to the river. "Half of our force is over there already, but they say they need more help. Ruwalk's already down there; he'll tell you what to do."  
  
"Ok," Kaistern said, pocketing his glasses. "You ok?"  
  
Copper eyes blinked from behind sopping aqua bangs. "O—of course I am. We just need to do our job and—"  
  
"You're worrying over him again," Kaistern pointed out. Alfeegi flinched. "So you guys –are-........."  
  
Suddenly a large flowerpot made contact with his head. "Get to work!" Alfeegi commanded, blushing. Kaistern laughed. "So you're shy?" he taunted. "I'll just ask Ruwalk, then........." Alfeegi opened his mouth to say something as he reached for another heavy object, but someone was calling his name to get more help, so he left. Kaistern jogged off, snickering giddily to himself.  
  
;; ;;-----------------  
  
"Oh. You're here." Ruwalk sweatdropped, drenched, looking at Kaistern.  
  
"Yep," said the blue officer. "Alfeegi told me you guys needed help." His promise to tease the yellow officer about his lover was pushed into the back of his mind once he saw the situation. The water level was rising steadily, and people were stuck in buildings. "Kind of obvious, now that I see it. What do I do?"  
  
"Help that group of people to get that woman and her kid to safety," Ruwalk said, pushing Kaistern towards a poor-looking little house. The foundation had already crumbled into the raging river, dirt brown and carrying debris fast enough that even a small tree branch could probably do damage. Part of the small house was caving in. A woman's frantic screams could be heard within.  
  
"Ma'am, calm down," a dragon fighter yelled amidst the din. He looked up to see Kaistern. "Thank Dusis you're here, sir," he panted. "It's hell."  
  
"Obviously." Kaistern gritted his teeth. "What're you trying to do?"  
  
"Get them out."  
  
"Of course." Kaistern walked to a small window. "You're going about it the wrong way." He kicked the window in, glass shattering. The five fighters sweatdropped. "Um......... of course, sir........." Kaistern sweatdropped. "Well, it worked........." He crawled in through the tiny opening, a jagged glass edge cutting into his side. He winced slightly and felt blood run down his side, but got into the dilapidated house without any more incidents.  
  
In the corner of the room, which was two inches under water and steadily increasing, was a woman with long, black, disheveled hair holding a baby to her. "I'm here to help you," Kaistern said, ignoring introductions in the interest of time. "Come with me."  
  
The house jolted as more of the ground beneath it fell into the river. Kaistern bit back a curse. The baby began to wail.  
  
"Please, just get my child out first," the woman begged the blue dragon officer. "Please, she's the only one left to me!"  
  
"Why not both of you?" The water level was rising. "This is stupid. Take the kid and come with me!" The window opening Kaistern had made was too small to all go at once, of course. They'd have to go one by one. "You go first," he told the woman, who shook her head.  
  
"My daughter," she insisted.  
  
"Fine, send her through. Careful of the glass." The house shifted. "Officer Kaistern!!" Came shouts from outside.  
  
"We're fine!" the blue officer shouted back. "I'm sending a baby through now. Get her and take her to safety!" Gently, carefully, he sent the crying baby through the smashed window to the dragon fighter on the other side. Once out in the storm, the little human began to cry hysterically. "Damn," one of the dragons outside swore.  
  
Kaistern stepped back to face the woman. "You go next," he said, then to the fighter outside: "I'm sending the mother through now!"  
  
He helped the fragile woman to get up to the window and start to climb out. Fighters outside grabbed her arms to help her. The long skirt of her ragged dress caught on one of the jagged pieces of glass and ripped into her leg. She gave a cry as she fell out of the window to the ground, fighters trying to catch her and help her up. She coughed, looked down to her leg where blood flowed freely now. She began to faint.  
  
"Get her to safety!" Kaistern yelled, and began to try to get out of the house himself.  
  
It was then the rest of the foundation decided to crumble into the river, taking the house with it.  
  
"OFFICER KAISTERN!!" yelled a fighter. The woman shrieked an unearthly wail, the baby cried amid the din, and all the while were the sickening cracking sounds as the house was destroyed in the raging river.  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
"Ruwalk!" Alfeegi, still soaking wet, ran up to his boyfriend, whose face was the very picture of gloom. "What happened?"  
  
Ruwalk looked up, tears in his eyes. Alfeegi looked to him, eyes full of concern. "He's dead," he finally croaked.  
  
Alfeegi froze. "Who?" he asked. The yellow officer stood in silence. "Ruwalk, who?!" He grabbed the other's arm, saw the blank look in his eyes. "Ruwalk, -talk to me!-"  
  
"Kaistern."  
  
Alfeegi blinked, eyes wide.  
  
"I let him die. It's my fault he died. He's gone. Oh, God........."  
  
He lost it. Ruwalk, of all people, lost it. He began to sob, somewhat hysterically. Alfeegi held him as he sank to the floor, body shaking. "I killed him," Ruwalk sobbed. "-I killed him.-"  
  
"Ruwalk," Alfeegi soothed. He held his lover close. "Ruwalk, it's not your fault. Kaistern would say the same thing."  
  
"That –ass,-"Ruwalk suddenly exclaimed. "He had to be some fucking good guy and be the saint, didn't he?! God!" More tears came, angry ones this time. "Bastard," he muttered under his breath. He drew a shaky breath, then looked up to Alfeegi, who was looking away. He reached out and hugged his lover's smaller frame to him. "I'm sorry," he whispered.  
  
"It's ok," Alfeegi murmered, hugging back. He held on tight. "It's not your fault."  
  
---------------------------------  
  
"Rath?"  
  
The little boy bounced off of his bed, Fire close behind. "Yeah? Is Kaistern back??"  
  
Cernozura froze. "Um........." She knelt down so she was level with the young Knight. "That's just what I need to talk to you about. Kaistern is......... well he........."  
  
The young dragon's large eyes darkened. "What happened to Kaistern?" he asked bluntly.  
  
A lump came into Cernozura's throat. "He........." She ended up lying to Rath, saying Kaistern wouldn't be back for a very long while. Made it sound like another foreign affair assignment. "He didn't pack," Rath pointed out.  
  
"He left in a rush."  
  
"Alfeegi needed his help. So why did he leave?"  
  
Controlling her voice, Cernozura managed: "That was what he needed help with. He didn't give Kaistern a chance to collect any of his clothes or anything. Besides, it's not too far away and......... very......... hospitable." Depending on what you believed in. What she had said did not escape Cernozura. Her stomach knotted, head reeled.  
  
"Oh." Rath said finally. "Ok. No fair him leaving without telling me. Or even saying bye."  
  
Cernozura nodded, then left. "No, he didn't tell you goodbye........." She made it back to her room before letting loose the tears. 


	2. 2

The storm had calmed down, most of the flooding subsiding. The Dragon castle was bustling with activity, since Lykouleon, lapsing back into his community service days, decided to open the Castle to the less fortunate of Draqueen as a shelter. Preparations were being made as person after person, family after family filed into the Castle, staring around with wide eyes in disbelief. Even the adults had a look of amazement on their faces as to where they actually were.

Alfeegi got the task of getting them to sign in and assigned to a room. He'd much rather not. Ruwalk had gone off somewhere, still feeling depressed. Perhaps the Lord had called for him, who knew. All Alfeegi knew was that his lover was blaming himself too much for something that he couldn't even prevent, much less predict. He claimed it was his own fault Kaistern had died; yet how could he have known the ground wasn't stable?

Another thing about it was it was distracting him from his work.

Tetheus stepped up. "Alfeegi, why don't you take a break? I'll take over here." The white officer nodded and let the chief of security take over. But instead of resting, he headed off to try to find Ruwalk. His instincts, which lead him to outside the door of Lykouleon's office, were correct.

"Ruwalk, it's not your fucking fault," came Lykouleon's voice. He must've been repeating this for the thousandth time—his voice and choice of language showed it. "How the hell were you supposed to know the house was going to go? I'm just as upset as you are about losing Kaitsern." His voice lowered. "Hell, I don't know how we'll break it to Rath. But we saved people, and that's what matters. Kaistern didn't die in vain."

There came a stifled sniffle. "But still," came Ruwalk's voice, and it pained Alfeegi to hear his voice so thick with tears and not be able to do anything about it. "I just wish......... It could've been different."

"Yes, it could've. But don't beat yourself up. I don't think he would've wanted that."

"There's only one thing."

There was silence, so Alfeegi guessed the Lord had just raised his eyebrows or some other gesture as to say "what."

"The woman he saved........." Ruwalk sighed, a tired sigh that wished the day had never come to be. "She's dead. Only the baby's alive now."

".........Dammit........." Lykouleon said, and Alfeegi could hear the soft slap of skin against skin. "Goddammit. We could've at least........."

"'Don't beat yourself up.'" Ruwalk said. His voice was tinged with grim humour.

"Shut up and get some rest." Lykouleon told his friend. "That's an order, by the way."

Ruwalk walked out, just noticing Alfeegi, who tried to conceal himself. The white officer blushed. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"S'ok," Ruwalk said, kissing his forehead.

"You have to go rest........."

"Can't you stay with me a while?"

Alfeegi considered this. Tetheus –had- relieved him of his duty, and he didn't think anyone would be needing him right now—at least, not as much as Ruwalk may be needing someone. He nodded. "Of course," he said, brushing some of Ruwalk's bangs back from his face. He took the yellow officer's hand in his own and set off down the hall to his room.

"You're still damp," Ruwalk noted.

Alfeegi giggled a bit, which felt out of place. "I haven't had a chance to towel off," he said. "Besides, didn't the Lord ask Sarazar about the weather?"

"There may be more on the way."

A loud crash of thunder sounded, confirming Sarazar's suspicions.

Rath came bounding around the corner. "Why's Kaistern out in this weather?" he asked. Alfeegi felt Ruwalk stiffen. "He said I couldn't go out in it, but –he- can? It's no fair! Where'd he go that was so important?" The little boy's gaze settled on the clasped hands of the two officers. "And why're you tow holding hands?"

Alfeegi blushed and went to move away, but his lover held firm. "Kaistern could tell you that when he gets back," the yellow officer said, which made his partner wince slightly. –Don't lie to him. Don't lie to him any more than we already are.-

"Oh fine," Rath sighed. "Every thing's till later." He motioned to the Dragon & Dragon Dog behind him. "Come on, guys, I know a place where we can watch the storm & look out for Kaistern." They ran off, Rath muttering on about being left behind.

"You lied to him," Alfeegi said after Rath was out of earshot.

"It's not impossible," Ruwalk countered.

"But what if it is? What if........." Alfeegi sighed and used his free hand to cover his face. "Oh, God." He looped himself around Ruwalk, who opened the door to his room at the same time.

"'Oh God' what?"

"It's turning into a huge mess."

"Oh, you and your disasters," Ruwalk sighed. "Come on. You're stressed—"

"Like you aren't?"

"Oh, shut up," Ruwalk whispered, kissed Alfeegi, pulled him into the room, and shut the door behind him.

"She looks weird."

"Rath!" Cernozura whipped around to scoop up the sleeping baby. "Don't fuss with the baby! What if Fire got too close to her?"

Fire sweatdropped and held up a sign: "I was keeping my distance," but Cernozura took no notice. Especially since Rath had begun to grill her about the child. "Is it a girl?"

"Yes."

"Ugh. Where's her parents?"

"Both dead, I'm afraid," Cernozura said softly, stomach turning at the lie she'd told him earlier. "Her father we're not quite sure about, but her mother died shortly after arriving here."

"Oh," said Rath, not quite getting with the older woman was saying. "Is she staying here from now on?"

"Yes, I think Lord Lykouleon suggested it."

Rath looked like he was considering this, then turned and ran off, with Fire and Crewger close behind. Cernozura sighed tiredly. The day would soon end, and that brought some relief to her. Even though the next few days would end up just as trying as today. What with all the people now using the Castle as a shelter, cleaning and the like was about to become evn more of a chore than it already was.

Far off, downstream by the ocean, away from all the trouble and stormy weather, was a girl sitting by the mouth of the river as it flowed into the ocean. The river had been flowing abnormally fast today, and she'd heard something about storms off in Dragoon. So she decided that accounted for not only the swift current, but also the amazing loads of wreckage—including the house that drifted by.

Only she soon discovered something far more interesting.

A man washed up on shore. He wore a dark trench coat made to be water proof (to some extent), which was now dirty and soaked, as was the rest of him. He had short white hair, and, interestingly enough, pointed ears. He wore an interesting clasp on his left ear; a small tooth shaped thing dangled from it.

The girl grabbed a stick and poked him out of habit. He moaned, then rolled over, coughing out water.

"Hey," the girl said, blinking in surprise, "You're alive?"

The man sat up, clutching his side. "Yes, I suppose. Where am I? Who are you?"

"You're on the West coast of Dusis," the girl aid, "And my name's Jazelle. And you are? Where're you from? Why the heck were you in the river? Was it the storms?"

The man (who, Jazelle noted, was actually an albino) threw up black gloved hands as if to fend off her questions. "Whoa, calm," he said, then winced in pain. "Jazelle, right? Well, just calm down with the questions. Besides," He sighed. "I don't remember who I am or where I'm from. At all. I remember nothing."

End chapter 2 of part 2

A/N: as for the ending......... heheheh.


	3. 3

Outside, the storm was howling. Worse than earlier, Sarazar had informed the Dragon Lord that there might even be numerous tornadoes. Ruwalk was oblivious to all this.

He was asleep.

Alfeegi had left him, quietly. Although it was two in the morning, he heard the racket and decided he had to help. He got up, made sure Ruwalk was still asleep, and tucked the blankets around him. He stroked his lover's cheek and gently kissed his forehead before departing, shutting the door softly behind him. Outside, he composed himself, throwing his hair into order roughly, and straightening his jacket by yanking on the lapels. He assumed an almost arrogant stance and went hurridly down the hall, his heels clipping over the din.

A few more halls and two flights of stairs, and he reached the main area being used as a shelter. All lights were on, people were bustling everywhere; it was loud. Tetheus spotted the white officer and walked over to him.

"The Lord wants to speak to you."

Alfeegi found Lykouleon, who was trying to understand the art of serving soup to more than one person at a time. Normally, Alfeegi would have gone ballistic over the huge mess the Lord was making, but given the circumstances, it made no difference. He wasn't in the bitching mood anyways.

"My Lord?" he finally spoke up. "You wished to speak to me?"

"Could you come over here?" Lykouleon called over a particularly large crash of thunder, which sent the younger children into hysterical fits. "I can't abandon my soup."

A tiny sweatdrop accompanied the Dragon Officer as he walked behind the table to the Dragon Lord.

"I've sent out some more Dragon Fighters to town. I don't want to endanger anyone again, but........." The ladle hovered in mid-air.

"You need me out there?" Alfeegi asked, noting that the rain was pounding even the tough castle roof.

".........Yes........."

Alfeegi nodded, looking around the crowded room. "Just to get the civilians out then?"

Lykouleon nodded. "I'll send Tetheus with you." Then, a bit more quietly, "How's Ruwalk?"

"Asleep."

The blond looked to be thinking for a second, probably whether or not to awaken the yellow officer. Before he could come to a conclusion, Alfeegi had already bowed and walked off to get a small group of other Dragon Fighters to come with him. "Alfeegi!" Lykouleon tried yelling over the din. "Alfeegi, wait--!!"

But the aqua haired man became lost in the crowd, making his way out of the castle and into the storm.

--------

He had, of course, been out in the earlier storm, but not very much. Now, compared to the last storm, this storm was a –hurricane.- It made the first storm seem like a summer thunderstorm. Alfeegi had gotten soaked by wind-driven rain the second he stepped out the castle door, and found the wind was already so strong, he had to grab onto things so as not be carried off.

"Dammit," muttered one of the Fighters, "It's two a.m. I should be asleep."

"You have duties," Alfeegi snapped. "Now come on. Where's Officer Tetheus?"

"What?"

"Where's Tetheus?!"

Tetheus appeared with his group of Fighters. Unlike the rest of them, he seemed unmoved by the elements, as stoic as ever.

"What do we do, Captain?" a Fighter asked him.

"Go into town and save survivors," Tetheus answered. He didn't need to yell; his voice was strong and deep enough to hear over the noise.

"Get into town?!" screeched a younger Dragon Fighter. "We can't even walk alone out here, much less –save- anybody!"

"We'll just have to try, now won't we?" Alfeegi snapped back, starting to get pissed off. God, when had their Fighters become so damn –wimpy?-

They were able to finally get into town, after what seemed like an eternity of gripping and dragging and pulling and catching people who were about to pull a Mary Poppins. Upon arriving, they saw that some of the townspeople were already gathered in a fairly strong house, and they also discovered five Fighters had already died. That dragged Alfeegi's spirits down somewhat, standing in a place where the wind didn't reach, dripping wet.

He felt a tug on his jacket. He looked down to see a little girl with bright red hair and large eyes, blinking up at him. "Will you find my mommy and daddy?" she asked, eyes brimming with tears.

The man blinked, shocked. "O—of course," he stammered, wondering what the hell else he was supposed to say besides that. Certainly not "well they may be dead already." "Of course we will."

A bit of hope came back into those big eyes. She squeezed her teddy bear harder. It was falling apart—missing an eye, loose stitches—but she still loved it, and as of now it seemed her only comfort in a room full of strangers.

"You're so wimpy, Kitchel!" came a sudden loud voice. Alfeegi, blinked, seeing the young boy who had just spoken. He had a smirk on his face, and his large eyes hid behind his green hair.

The little girl suddenly became not-so-sweet, turning on her heel and putting her hands on her hips. "I am NOT a wimp, Thats!" she said in an angry voice.

"Then why're you carrying around a teddy bear, -baby?-"

"I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"You bitch!"

The Dragon Officers and Fighters stared unblinkingly, watching the two go at it, yelling profanities back and forth as if they were sailors. "I think......... It's time we began," Tetheus said, clearing his throat and heading for the door. Alfeegi nodded absentmindedly and followed.

The wind hit him again full blast. He had already forgotten its strength, and the shock almost knocked him over. He gripped the side of the building to keep himself up. Tetheus was already ordering the Fighters where to search, so he too began on his way.

He slipped on the wet ground beneath him.

----------

Ruwalk woke up at about three in the morning. He noticed Alfeegi was gone, and immediately bolted up and out of bed. He went downstairs and found Lykouleon, still working the soup kitchen.

"Ruwalk, you're up," the blond blinked. He looked tired and disheveled.

"Yes, I am. Where's Alfeegi?"

A Fighter took over Lykouleon's post. The Dragon Lord walked off, as if he hadn't heard the question.

"Lykouleon!"

He turned, seeing the look in his friend's eyes. "You didn't," Ruwalk whispered. "You didn't send him out, did you?"

"I was going to tell him to wake you up, but he was gone before I could say anything!" Lykouleon protested.

"You still gave him the order to go out there, didn't you?!" Ruwalk said, almost accusingly. Lykouleon winced, but it was almost unnoticeable. The other noticed it, of course; he'd known the blonde for too long not to. "You did........."

"Ruwalk, you need to understand, we have to do this, we all have to do something!" Lykouleon said. "You were asleep, and I needed some Officers out there! Tetheus went out there too, so I didn't single him out!"

"Oh, right, I was asleep and Kaistern's –dead- because of my own –stupidity.- So you didn't want me out there endangering anybody else. So instead, -you- endangered them!"

The accusations hit Lykouleon one after another. There was venom in Ruwalk's voice, but also weariness, regret. "That's not true," he murmured. "Ru, I trust you. I wish you did the same for me." He sighed. "It wasn't your fault, dumbass. And I need Officers out there to control things. There were only two left, and I needed them both out. I'm not trying to kill Alfeegi. God, I wish you'd fucking –trust- me once in a while!"

There was silence for a while. Ruwalk awkwardly looped his arms around his best friend. "'M sorry," he murmured in a muffled voice against Lykouleon.

"S'ok, you big baby."

"Bite me."

"Why are you so worried, anyways?"

Ruwalk blushed. "About what?"

"About Alfeegi, baka."

"Well, I......... I'm just worried, is all!" He pulled away and looked away, blushing.

"Riiight," the blond said, a smirk creeping onto his face. "Of course."

"Oh, shut up. I'm going out," Ruwalk said, pulling on boots and a jacket.

"Just to get away from me, huh?" Lykouleon sweatdropped. "Ah well. Be careful, baka."

"Baka yourself," Ruwalk called over his shoulder, shutting the door behind him. Inside, Lykouleon shook his head and walked off.

------------------

A/N:

or pull a Parker...... "And you thought this trick only worked for British nannies!" xD!

Anyways... sorry, no kaistern here,......... :p And, gasp, Alfeegi slipped! Not exactly a cliffie, I know. Thats & kitchel there cause it was fun- & word keeps wanting it as "that's," so I keep having to fix it......... ;;;

I need reviews, people, or else I don' write chappies... although akisawana's stalking me.... O.o;; ja.

END OF CH. 4 then.........


	4. 4

A/N: it seems the longer my stories are, chapter-wise, the less reviews I get. So hopefully this shall be the second to last one. Whether or not I complete this whole little RuFeg series depends on the feedback I get on this, Part 2. If not good, then.......... No more. Oh, & I'm really hoping doesn't screw up my trailing off periods. That was reallykindasorta annoying.

This next chapter may be dark-ish or something of the like, because I'm in a Mood right now. Yeah.

R&R, onegai.........

--------------

Alfeegi woke up in a dark room. It took him a while to realize that it was his own, then blinked in confusion in the dark. What time was it, and the last place he had been was in the city, hadn't it? He bolted upright, finally hearing the rain again. That's right, of course, what on earth was he doing back here? He got up immediately, then sank to the floor when the room started reeling and his legs gave out.

He pulled himself up, clutching his door handle. Why was he so dizzy? He wondered. It didn't matter, what mattered was that he had to get up and find out what was going on. And what time it was.

Steadily, he regained his balance and the dizziness dissipated somewhat. He reached the downstairs, where it was eerily quiet. It disquieted him quite a bit, but, tiptoeing around, saw that most, if not all, of the refugees were asleep. As well as the numerous Dragon Fighters leaned against walls and pillars.

He finally found a clock; it read 4:05. In the morning. When had they gone out again? Two-ish?

The sudden wish to hunt down Ruwalk suddenly hit him, surprisingly overwhelming. Of course he loved the other officer, but it wasn't all the time that he felt such a strong desire to find him. Usually it seemed more or less that that was –Ruwalk's- personality, not his.

Four in the morning. The castle was so dark. Had it ever looked this way? The rain sounded lighter; that was good. In the morning, they'd have to begin cleaning up. Alfeegi sighed, stretching his arms behind him.

The sleeves scooted back farther than he liked. He yanked them down, even though there was no one around to see what was there. In fact, he was still in his damp clothes. Either the person who'd put him to bed was rushed, or the thought of undressing someone (especially the White Officer) was not exactly appealing to them. He decided it wouldn't be too much of a crime to take a shower. A warm one preferably, his throat was raw.

Anyone else would have stared. And contrary to popular belief—meaning Kaistern's, if he –was- still alive—he and Ruwalk had not yet gone beyond kissing. The thought of anything beyond that made Alfeegi nervous, for one, and besides, they hadn't been together –that- long...

It took him only about ten minutes to clean. He didn't get into sleep clothes, but clean day clothes. It may be four am, but that didn't keep him from working. Maybe Ruwalk was right, and he –was- a workaholic—

Ruwalk.

Giving in, Alfeegi fairly slammed the door opened and walked quickly out, mentally listing where the other officer might be.

He wasn't in his own room. That stopped Alfeegi dead in his tracks. He felt fear creep over him, which wasn't natural for him. So was the fact he almost panicked. He calmed himself before walking back downstairs and around the castle.

Nowhere. He was nowhere.

"Oh God," Alfeegi whispered, covering his mouth. Even then he was oblivious to the fact he was shaking. The last time he lost Ruwalk, everything had come so close to crashing down. Last time, Ruwalk could have died. Last time, when it was Alfeegi's fault; -everything- was—

"No, no, no, stop it, stop," Alfeegi whispered, gripping himself, tensing. He could feel the dark spot in the corner of his mind, eager to take him over again. Despite himself, a small whimper escaped his lips, earning himself a slap. "Dammit," he hissed. He had to hold himself together. No more breakdowns, hadn't he told himself that?

His wrist reminded him and sent him back over the edge.

For no apparent reason, tears were coming from his eyes. –Last time it was YOUR fault, he almost died. God, how worthless are you? You think he loves you? How do you know it's not all a lie? How do you know that he doesn't really hate you?-

"Shut up," he whimpered against the voice in his mind. "Stop it."

-You know what will stop it.-

-No,- Alfeegi sank to the floor, clutching his wrists. –Nonononono, not again. I can't. I shouldn't. I won't.

But it would feel so good...-

In a trance-like state, Alfeegi unseeingly went to the kitchen, creeping in quietly as a ghost. He opened the knife drawer and selected one. He scooted his left arm sleeve up and set the knife amidst the many scars there. He drew a shuddering breath, and slit his skin once more.

------------

The next morning dawned, bright and clear. Alfeegi awoke, remembering his wrist. It hadn't bled that much, but he had kept the knife. It was hidden well away, in a drawer beneath a pile of old reports. He thought almost nothing of the new slits; besides the fact that they were bright and red, they were indistinguishable from the old scars.

Except that they hurt.

His arm was beginning to bother him, which wrenched a cold sounding, morbid laugh from his throat. He didn't remember this happening. How funny.

Hadn't he laughed while he was digging the knife into his skin?

He tried to push the thoughts away. He had to get ready for the day. Had to find Ruwalk. Wherever –he- was. The aqua haired officer dressed and tried to compose himself. He hurt, not only in his arm, but inside –himself.- It was what had driven him to do –it,- what was within him even now. There was still guilt from last night, but even more so now. He couldn't tell Ruwalk about last night, if he ever saw him again.

What was that supposed to mean?

"If he even still cares," Alfeegi muttered to himself. Why had he cut himself last night? Over Ruwalk. Because of him. How strange it was, that he should cause suffering to himself over the one he held dearest.

He slapped himself to snap himself out of it, assumed a self-confident posture, and walked out and down the hallway as he had always done. Hiding anything he felt inside was normal for him. Ever since his childhood he had been good at it.

He arrived in the kitchen, where once again the Dragon Lord was on food patrol. "Oh, Alfeegi, I'm glad to see you," Lykouleon said brightly. "There's a knife missing from the drawer. I was wondering did you see it anywhere?"

His heart stopped. He managed to shake his head no, but words wouldn't come. They got stuck in his throat. Lykouleon didn't notice his officer's battle with himself to keep the tears away. "Oh, ok," he said lightly. "I was just wondering, since it's so strange." He looked at Alfeegi closely. "Are you sure you should be up? Tetheus said you took a fall while you were out in the city."

"I did?"

Lykouleon nodded, and Alfeegi held onto his every word like someone who was hearing the details of what had happened after they got drunk last night. "So Ruwalk finally got himself out there and you were out; Tetheus had put you in a building. So Ru took it upon himself to bring you back here and tuck you in." He chuckled.

"You guys didn't tell me about –that.-"

Alfeegi's eyes widened, suddenly realizing—"Y—Your Highness, I—"he stammered, blushing brightly. But Lykouleon only smiled.

"It's ok. Anyways," he clattered some plates down onto the counter; turned to face his white officer.

"So where's Ruwalk now?" Alfeegi asked the burning question on his mind.

"They haven't come back yet."

Alfeegi was gone and out the door again, in a flash.

"I have –got- to stop encouraging that," Lykouleon sighed.

----------

It was cold out. The sky was clear, a clean blue. Alfeegi ran all the way to town, looking everywhere, only helping if the need was dire. It seemed as though he ran for forever, searching and finding no one. The Fighters he found were about as informative as Rath.

Tethues finally materialized to his right, bandaging a woman's arm. "T—Tetheus!" Alfeegi gasped, out of breath. "Wh—where's Ruwalk??"

"Ruwalk?" The Black Officer blinked. "He's in that building—"

"Thanks!"

Alfeegi ran to the door, which suddenly flew open in his face, and out came a figure, yelling, "Tetheus, this is ridiculous, we've got to tell Lykouleon we need more supplies—"

Alfeegi blinked. Ruwalk noticed him.

"Alfeegi?"

Unwillingly, the White Officer's eyes filled with tears. "I.........." He tried to speak, but his voice choked. Instead, he hugged the slightly taller man, who was taken aback.

"Alfeegi, what--? What's wrong?"

"I couldn't find you at all! I was so worried!"

Ruwalk blinked in surprise. "About me?"

Alfeegi's head snapped up, and he yelled, "Of COURSE I was worried about you! You idiot! I—"He quieted, sniffling. "I love you, you big idiot. Of course I was worried. I was scared."

Ruwalk's eyes softened, and he hugged Alfeegi lovingly.

Tetheus turned back to his work to give them privacy.

--------------------

woot, anti-climactic ending. Sue me. :p Thus ends part 2 of my RuFeg fic whateverthehellitis, Kimi ni Fureru Dakede. Now I need a name for Part 3, & you all need your Kaistern back, ne?

and the last part was especially linked to the song for which this Part's named after (even if I –did- write it to Over the Sky angel feather version!). See:

Ah- Kimi ni fureru dake de kokoro wa hazunde

Ah- kimi ni fureru dake de boku wa mitasareru

Ima wa tada kono kimochi wo tayasanai you ni

Kimi wo tsuyoku dakishimeru yo Dakishimeru yo

Ah- Just to touch you, my heart pounds

Ah- Just to touch you, fills me up

Now, just to keep these feelings from dying

I'll hold you strongly I'll hold you.

Uffa, how will like that? If it screws up, lyrics at 

R&R, onegaishimasu.


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